Eskom is a popular topic for Hayibo.com’s satire:
Eskom phones in with latest ransom demands
PRETORIA. After months of inactivity and minimal load-shedding, rogue utility company Eskom has come out of hiding to deliver its latest demands. According to a government spokesman, Eskom called in using a disposable SIM card, demanding R5 billion in unmarked R50 notes and threatening to black out the country again if it saw any police at the drop-off point.
Another piece of satire from Hayibo.com:
Eskom delighted by new euphemisms for total incompetence
JOHANNESBURG. Power utility Eskom says it is delighted with its latest euphemism, released to the media last week. According to the press release, “unplanned power cuts could occur at very short notice”, which Eskom says is a state-of-the-art way of describing the total failure of the power grid, for no reason, with nobody held accountable.
Eskom spokesman Sparks Maponya said the corporation has been concerned for some time how an already stressed public would respond to the news that the national power grid was about to collapse without notice at any moment.
“Focus groups suggested that our Inevitable Failure Scenario Announcement would not sufficiently reassure the nation,” said Maponya.
According to Maponya, this announcement, to be sent automatically to all media in the event of a total collapse of the grid, would have read, ‘The grid, it is broken. No, I don’t know. I just work here. I’m on lunch. No, I don’t know. Okay bye.’
But Maponya said the new press release had already achieved its goal by “not causing widespread civil pandemonium”.
This story was in our inbox this morning – had to google the headline to discover that it comes from a satirical site (if not mistaken, run by Tom Eaton) called Hayibo:
Blackouts back as Eskom caught off-guard by shock cooling called ‘winter’
JOHANNESBURG. A week after announcing that loadshedding would be halted, Eskom says an unexpected change in the Earth’s axis has plunged the country into a time of cold and darkness, prompting possible future power cuts. The phenomenon, identified by scientists as “winter”, has reportedly caused widespread panic at the utility.
Addressing journalists at Eskom’s Megawatt Park headquarters this morning, spokesman Eddie Motsepe apologised to consumers in advance for possible power outages, but said that the dramatic shift in the planet’s rotational alignment could not have been foreseen by the power provider.
“We are as confused and frightened as our consumers,” he said. “At this time all we know is that Earth has tilted over, and as such the southern hemisphere is no longer being struck by the full force of the sun’s rays.”
He said Eskom officials had confirmed that this phenomenon was known to the science community, and that it was called “winter”.
“We phoned the Geography department at the University of the Witwatersrand, and they told us,” he said.
He said he did not know whether or not “winter” would be permanent, but said the utility was preparing for the worst.
 | Rob Brooks on From bonuses to bailouts … |
 | Cobus Schmidt on About the DA’s Energy… |
 | Jacques on About the DA’s Energy… |
 | Paul Gray on DA MP joins cross party initia… |
