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Hayibo Eskom part 2: Eskom delighted by new euphemisms for total incompetence

20 June 2008

Another piece of satire from Hayibo.com:

Eskom delighted by new euphemisms for total incompetence

JOHANNESBURG. Power utility Eskom says it is delighted with its latest euphemism, released to the media last week. According to the press release, “unplanned power cuts could occur at very short notice”, which Eskom says is a state-of-the-art way of describing the total failure of the power grid, for no reason, with nobody held accountable.

Eskom spokesman Sparks Maponya said the corporation has been concerned for some time how an already stressed public would respond to the news that the national power grid was about to collapse without notice at any moment.

“Focus groups suggested that our Inevitable Failure Scenario Announcement would not sufficiently reassure the nation,” said Maponya.

According to Maponya, this announcement, to be sent automatically to all media in the event of a total collapse of the grid, would have read, ‘The grid, it is broken. No, I don’t know. I just work here. I’m on lunch. No, I don’t know. Okay bye.’

But Maponya said the new press release had already achieved its goal by “not causing widespread civil pandemonium”.

Visit Hayibo.com to read on >>

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