Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

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Hayibo Eskom 3: Eskom’s latest ransom demand

8 August 2008

Eskom is a popular topic for Hayibo.com‘s satire:

Eskom phones in with latest ransom demands

PRETORIA. After months of inactivity and minimal load-shedding, rogue utility company Eskom has come out of hiding to deliver its latest demands. According to a government spokesman, Eskom called in using a disposable SIM card, demanding R5 billion in unmarked R50 notes and threatening to black out the country again if it saw any police at the drop-off point.

Click to continue reading at Hayibo.com.

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Hayibo Eskom part 2: Eskom delighted by new euphemisms for total incompetence

20 June 2008

Another piece of satire from Hayibo.com:

Eskom delighted by new euphemisms for total incompetence

JOHANNESBURG. Power utility Eskom says it is delighted with its latest euphemism, released to the media last week. According to the press release, “unplanned power cuts could occur at very short notice”, which Eskom says is a state-of-the-art way of describing the total failure of the power grid, for no reason, with nobody held accountable.

Eskom spokesman Sparks Maponya said the corporation has been concerned for some time how an already stressed public would respond to the news that the national power grid was about to collapse without notice at any moment.

“Focus groups suggested that our Inevitable Failure Scenario Announcement would not sufficiently reassure the nation,” said Maponya.

According to Maponya, this announcement, to be sent automatically to all media in the event of a total collapse of the grid, would have read, ‘The grid, it is broken. No, I don’t know. I just work here. I’m on lunch. No, I don’t know. Okay bye.’

But Maponya said the new press release had already achieved its goal by “not causing widespread civil pandemonium”.

Visit Hayibo.com to read on >>

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Lighter side of load shedding – Hayibo, Eskom

13 June 2008

This story was in our inbox this morning – had to google the headline to discover that it comes from a satirical site (if not mistaken, run by Tom Eaton) called Hayibo:

Blackouts back as Eskom caught off-guard by shock cooling called ‘winter’

JOHANNESBURG. A week after announcing that loadshedding would be halted, Eskom says an unexpected change in the Earth’s axis has plunged the country into a time of cold and darkness, prompting possible future power cuts. The phenomenon, identified by scientists as “winter”, has reportedly caused widespread panic at the utility.

Addressing journalists at Eskom’s Megawatt Park headquarters this morning, spokesman Eddie Motsepe apologised to consumers in advance for possible power outages, but said that the dramatic shift in the planet’s rotational alignment could not have been foreseen by the power provider.

“We are as confused and frightened as our consumers,” he said. “At this time all we know is that Earth has tilted over, and as such the southern hemisphere is no longer being struck by the full force of the sun’s rays.”

He said Eskom officials had confirmed that this phenomenon was known to the science community, and that it was called “winter”.

“We phoned the Geography department at the University of the Witwatersrand, and they told us,” he said.

He said he did not know whether or not “winter” would be permanent, but said the utility was preparing for the worst.

Visit Hayibo to read on…

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Load shedding humour – Einstein’s interpretation of ANC policy

25 April 2008

What a great bit of photo-shopping on this old photograph of Albert Einstein at the blackboard. If memory serves, the original had Einstein’s famous formula, “E = mc2“. One can almost imagine that Einstein would have had exactly this kind of sense of humour.

Albert Einstein explains AC, DC and ANC

🙂

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Lighter side of load shedding – Eskom’s new plant building

18 April 2008

In keeping with the theme of recent posts on Eskom’s inability to meet demand going forward and the need to restructure the electricity sector, this photo arrived in our inbox this morning with the subject line “Good news on load shedding” and the caption, “Eskom have started work on the new 4800MW power station in Limpopo.”

A long way to go

Pretty harsh, but it made you smile, didn’t it? 🙂

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Lighter side: Load shedding April Fool’s joke

1 April 2008

We normally provide a lighter look at load shedding on Fridays, but today being April 1, we thought we’d make an exception. The Mail & Guardian Online chose load shedding for its April Fool’s joke this year. It announces that Eskom will be instituting “even more extreme power cuts” from today.

The shock development, which will be known as sector-sharing, will see the country divided into four vertical zones, each spanning many thousands of square kilometres.

According to the story, Eskom will only be able to provide electricity to three out of four zones during peak demand times. Read the rest of this entry ?

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The lighter side – bottled electricity

14 March 2008

We received a powerpoint presentation this week with the following picture as the last slide:

Bottled electricity

How’s that for an energy alternative? 🙂